Rock and Hard Places: Travels to Backstages, Frontlines and Assorted Sideshows


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The following week, I head north, in neither hope nor expectation. Any Australian who seeks triumph in Leeds labours in a dauntingly long shadow. In July , on his first tour of England, a twenty-one-year-old Donald Bradman, piled up runs at Headingley. I give my explanation of myself, and my book. Afterwards, a pleasant young chap called Sean wants to argue about politics. Sean takes his leave, and my scrawling is interrupted by a tall, twitching, bearded apparition in a mouldy greatcoat and deerstalker hat.

The forces of all that is good and righteous Geelong vanquish the evil empire Hawthorn. I reassure myself that this is all going to be worth it eventually.

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York is brilliant. Not just the event, but York itself. Beautiful, walkable, riddled with fantastic antique bookstores. Just two of the seats arranged in front of the table heaped with books are occupied. I ask in what capacity. Which is unusual. A scheduled appearance at a Borders store in Glasgow has been cancelled. Why do you keep sending us these losers?


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For the duration of the festival, the normally famously staid city goes, in the most genial and least pejorative sense of the word, crazy. What minimal delusions of grandeur I may still be harbouring are vanquished by the experience of apprising myself of my accommodations — my hotel is very much the sort of place one ends up in when one is an extremely late addition to some or other riotously over-subscribed jamboree.

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The only parts of the bedsheets through which it would be difficult to read a newspaper are the stains which are holding them together, the ventilator shaft outside the only window offers an intriguing suggestion of what life might be like inside a engine, and the plumbing is obsolete and diabolical even by British standards. However, the festival is on, which means that they are charging my publisher for the night what they would probably, at any other time of year, be grateful to get away with charging for the freehold of the entire hotel, and its indolent, surly staff.

I should, at moments such as these, spare a thought for the millions for whom a published book, and a subsequent publicity tour, however ill-attended, are wildest dreams plus tax. It is also absolutely right and proper to become sentimental about independent bookshops, especially ones like Word Power, which compensate for their relative lack of shelf space by their surfeit of enthusiasm and knowledge.

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Rock and Hard Places: Travels to Backstages, Frontlines and Assorted Sideshows Rock and Hard Places: Travels to Backstages, Frontlines and Assorted Sideshows
Rock and Hard Places: Travels to Backstages, Frontlines and Assorted Sideshows Rock and Hard Places: Travels to Backstages, Frontlines and Assorted Sideshows
Rock and Hard Places: Travels to Backstages, Frontlines and Assorted Sideshows Rock and Hard Places: Travels to Backstages, Frontlines and Assorted Sideshows
Rock and Hard Places: Travels to Backstages, Frontlines and Assorted Sideshows Rock and Hard Places: Travels to Backstages, Frontlines and Assorted Sideshows
Rock and Hard Places: Travels to Backstages, Frontlines and Assorted Sideshows Rock and Hard Places: Travels to Backstages, Frontlines and Assorted Sideshows
Rock and Hard Places: Travels to Backstages, Frontlines and Assorted Sideshows Rock and Hard Places: Travels to Backstages, Frontlines and Assorted Sideshows

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